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But I can tell you there’s something special about us. We’re tough; bulldogs are tough; we always have been. Physically tough and mentally tough. When other people quit, we keep going. When other people give in, we stand back up. Let’s go out and surprise some people this year. The last two years weren’t flukes. We deserved to win State. Let’s go show them what it means to be a Lincoln Bulldog. Today we recommit to winning State. Today we start to dig deep to set ourselves apart.”My motivational speech had the desired effect. Everyone was pumped up to learn new skills today. I was happy the older guys stepped up and helped the younger and the new teammates. By the end, I could tell they were tired after I ran them. I think some of them wanted to sneak off when they saw Cassidy show up. I’d talked to her earlier and had her up her game today. Boy, was that a mistake. She about killed us.I met with Coach Hope in his office to give him my impressions from today. I wasn’t totally on. They weren't true. The words that I wanted to say the entire night, butchose to bite my tongue and wait my time--I could feel those wordsfinally. And I realized that there was another part of me that I wasrepressing, not the sissy cuckold. I had wanted to be a strong sensuouswoman all these years, and I was still denying myself that."I have something to say as well," I squeaked a bit. My hands wereshaking visibly as I saw all eyes move to me. A couple of the mensnickered, but I soldiered on."I... I had wanted to say this in a private setting to Lisa, but I see nowthat cannot happen. There is no privacy any more.I did not have a good time tonight. In fact, this was the worst night ofmy life. For many years, I have wanted to have a chance to dress up andgo out as a woman for one night. I kept telling myself, 'What are youthinking, Mark? That's perverse. That's not fair to Lisa. She doesn'twant to be married to a cross-dresser.' And, I hid my desires.Until a few weeks ago. .
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